Poor Little Rich Gays, Here and Through the World in Corona’s Time which Will Not Have Time Much Longer

Wednesday 6th May 2020

A few weeks ago, Val telephoned from Hastings. V. Lady Bracknell.  ‘Aye’ve got may own sourdough,’ he warbled. Yesterday, was rather different. There has been a decline. ‘I’m not making much sense,’ he said. Rather true, unfortunately.  ‘This pandemic isn’t going to do any good,’ he declared, funereal. Well, no, I wasn’t aware that that was the idea. ‘What exactly do you mean?’ I ventured, with little hope of finding the meaning. I think he was hinting at a genocidal programme, quite frankly. Best to draw a veil.

Rufus Pitman says it’s just like living in a village. To the butcher’s shop in the morning with a basket (Reggie Cresswell wouldn’t approve) then after lunch lie down with a novel and perhaps some weeding. One could be both writing and reading a novel. One day he went on a walk in Batty Park with Harry Rollo. Things were different.  Even though no pair could be more devoted to virus avoidance –  ‘I’m self-isolate and wipey,’ said Harry. ‘I haven’t seen anybody for six weeks’ – it was mysteriously revealed to both of them at exactly the same time that they are dissidents. Batty Park is Gorky Park. It’s the USSR or the DDR. ‘Not literally of course, but the basic idea is the same,’ Harry says. Confusing instructions: masks don’t work. You must have a mask – well, not exactly, but mask wearers eligible for bonus points. Some mask wearers will be punished, however. Don’t sit on the bench! Why? The bench is taped over. You may not remove the tape. Might it be viral? We’re not saying. But not all benches are taped. What if I’m tired? You may exercise but you may not be tired. Nor may you be in the upper age range to 70 on a walk and suddenly weary, if for instance recovering from major surgery and advised to walk with rests. Exercise is permitted once a day for all those up to 70, however. You may not sit on the grass either. Sitting of all kinds disliked. Might I sit responsibly for a short period? No.

Then there are the upside-down values loved by regimes: Museums are closed, DIY shops open (Art is useless)

It is extremely important that Art is useless.

So that’s it. It’s a regime.

Is it really the only way? I’ve been thinking today: all through February and the early part of March (before the change) I was wipey, hand-wipey, non-kissy and huggy, self-trained for years not to touch mouth, eyes or nose unless hands washed. I didn’t, as far as known, become viral, despite being at function after function in the capital, at the time of maximum risk. Nobody else was bothering much, including Jacob Rees-Mogg who tried to shake my hand on Tuesday 10th March, when infections were ramping up, we now know, in their millions.

Virus appals every Poor Little Rich Gay, here and thoroughout the world. Nothing could more outrage the sense of hygiene, procedures, not being dead, the progress of canapés, functions, performances, outfits for which the Poor Little Rich Gay lives. Nobody could be more against viruses – far too small and just ghastly the way they get about without being asked.

If only it had been left to us to lead the Nation, we’d never have ended up in this state.

On Sunday (Sunday, I ask you!) we’re summoned to the headmaster’s study again for a deeply serious announcement. Or so I hear. I don’t tune in regularly because of strain. He knows we’ll be available. I bet you it will be the dinner hour as last time. 8pm.

We’ll have to see. But they should be warned. As Harry says, you can go on like Shostakovitch for so long but finally it might be necessary to put on a blond wig and defect.

Posted Wednesday, May 6, 2020 under Adrian Edge day by day.

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