Lavish Canapes with David Cameron – then down the Lahore Kebab House with the Multis

Tuesday 10th November 2009

Yes!  I saw him. He addressed The Conservative City Circle. The trouble was he looked exactly the same as on telly. I had to keep pinching myself – it really is him, it’s not telly.

The Multis were very down on his suit – creased around the crotch, cheap, they said. And his shoes rock-bottom but hair good. I thought the look was supposed to have been created by Richard James. Of its kind – businessman with tiny dash of style – not bad. He had a plain white shirt and plain purple tie – quite stylish. Full marks for absence of dismal blue stripped shirt, as worn by most other men present. Cloth of suit had a slight expensive sheen – I love a sheen.

If he’d wanted to be absolutely sure of my vote, he should have had waxed jeans, bum-freezer prep school blazer from Top Shop, scoop-neck T-shirt, big necklace and bracelets and pointy boots by Prada.

The speech made no specific reference to Poor Little Rich Gays and their needs, although I could smell a pleasant waft of: Tories equals more money, for gays and straights alike. (Do you know, I’ve been awfully good and never voted for them) The Multis thought his remarks should have been more tailored to the City audience – references to people on middle incomes rather over the heads of the listeners. He was awfully rude about Gordon Brown throwing his Nokia phone about – slanderous even. I don’t think he would have said such things on telly.

Have you heard about the phones? More insider information – GB is supposed to get through two Nokias a week. Hurls them to the floor. Terrible temper.

The abundance of the occasion astonishing. Tray after tray of canapés surged out from the nether regions; we reckoned we were on a canapé a minute throughout, with glass refilled every five at least. There was: foie gras with fig, chicken satay, samosas, mini-pizzas, smoked salmon roulades, cold Yorkshire pudding with rare beef, all about 7 out 10, except the last.

I had arrived before the Multis. For some reason, they were waiting for the congestion charge to end before driving in in the convertible.  I found a chair and watched the Tories coming through the door: grey, grey, charcoal, grey, grey, grey, charcoal… That’s their suits. They are marvellous; they haven’t changed since the 80s. They still look like expensive, quite large dogs. The young men are still blond, blue-eyed, not quite good-looking.

I did have a little dread of Smallmeal, but no sign of the dear little Pekinese face beneath the Lord Lichfield semi-bouffant sadly.

Afterwards, we dashed to the Lahore Kebab House off Commercial Road. Do we know it? It’s the cheapest restaurant in London. Imagine the blond Multi queuing up at the corner shop opposite to buy wine (it’s Bring Your Own). Later he got some of the meat starter on his brand-new looking tie. ‘I’ve been thinking this tie has got to go for a while,’ he said.  It seemed to be assumed: stain equals chuck.

Name Tags of MPs who were No Show at Cameron's talk. Viggers was the one with the Duck House

Name Tags of MPs who were No Show at Cameron's talk. Viggers was the one with the Duck House

The Blond Multi's Tie Terminated at the Lahore Kebab House

The Blond Multi's Tie Terminated at the Lahore Kebab House

Posted Tuesday, November 10, 2009 under Adrian Edge day by day.

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  1. Thin White Duchess says:

    Aren’t the Tories so ghastly, I am also extremely proud to never have voted for them, so bourgeois and not caring a bit about the poor or about upward mobility, encouraging private education, and giving tax breaks to those saving for their pensions and to those without pensions with expectations of estates to inherit and things like that. So ghastly I can hardly bear to think about them. Ghastly.

  2. admin says:

    Oh Lord! Don’t tell the Multis!

  3. Brad Lafone says:

    There hasn’t been a Conservative politician since Norman St John-Stevas who knew how to dress with elegance. Vests, watch chains, fancy neckties, French cuffs, two-tone shoes, you name it he wore it all with style.

  4. admin says:

    Didn’t Princess Margaret give him some velvet slippers with monogram embroidered when he became head of a Cambridge college?

  5. Robert Nevil says:

    Do you recall the bemusement of Smallmeal when the bill was presented to him at the Lahore Kebab House? He had never paid so little for a dinner and simply goggled.
    Very sorry you did not take the opportunity to smear e-coli on the canapés at the Cameron event. What a dreary little man.
    Can I have the discarded Multi tie now that it is being chucked?

  6. wallace wilbur-wang says:

    Edge – why do you reveal who you vote for? You eliminate readers when you become partisan. Now you have revealed this – why do you say ”I have been good and not voted for them….?” Is it as we fear that you are out of date with fashion and think the left is still so trendy – like a lot of others (who must be economically illiterate) of your generation in media? Well please note the left wing press in the UK are bankrupt and on their last legs – how much longer does your Independent and Guardian have left to exist? As readers vote with their $ and feet – then these papers must be out of fashion as they have a diminishing readership that is now affecting their survival. I am disappointed in your policalisation of your writing.

  7. admin says:

    I think you mis-read. I only said that I have never voted for the Tories and that was phrased in a certain way. I said nothing about the other parties or the left-wing press, as you put it.

  8. admin says:

    Elton John has had e-coli. Has there been a hygiene break-down in the kitchen of that girls’ school where he lives?

  9. Olympia Thaniakionassios says:

    Oh no, it is BNP. In Greece we have Ελληνικό Εθνικό Σοσιαλιστικό Κόμμα.

  10. says:

    Yes, the PM gave them to him. He was in Hello with the monogrammed slippers. It is one of my all time favorite Hellos. I wish I could share the photos with you. It’s a big shame he isn’t a PLRG.

  11. Brad Lafone says:

    Yes, the PM gave them to him. He was in Hello with the monogrammed slippers. It is one of my all time favorite Hellos. I wish I could share the photos with you. It’s a big shame he isn’t a PLRG.

  12. wallace wilbur-wang says:

    I have to correct you Edge you have expressed a political view – and now twice with your misunderstood comment response to TWD – or what does ”I have been awfully good and never voted for them?” mean then? You have not did answered that question yet.

    I think you also miss the point of TWD – about inheritance tax. She is being sarcastic about readers’ concluded opinion on your views on that IHT – i.e you are waiting for your inheritance and wishing to avoid paying that IHT tax – champagne socialists are all the same.

    You are out of fashion on your views ”you have been good not to vote for them” – what do you mean?

  13. I have given no indication of who I might vote for in the future nor who I have voted for in the past – and I don’t intend to. All I said was that I have not voted Tory. I am not even suggesting that I was right in that. As for this ‘inheritance’, that is your invention.

  14. Thin White Duchess says:

    The more champagne one drinks the less of one’s estate is left for IHT, so one tries to economise on champagne and other luxuries knowning that it is all to the good of wealth redistribution. Depriving myself in this manner makes me feel very good about myself. That, and knowing that my tax advisers have created all manner of trusts to ensure that the Thin White Duke’s largesse is kept well offshore.

  15. Winnie Hinton says:

    I don’t see what fashion has to do with intelligent political opinion, but I do think that Edge implied it isn’t good to vote Tory. I wholeheartedly agree with him, though, especially given the slick, bland, and, yes, ‘fashionable’ style of the New Tories.

  16. wallace wilbur-wang says:

    Edge – you have admitted your political persuasions of the past to your readers. Keep politics out of your blog as it dilutes it. You reduce the number of readers – it is disappointing to some of your readers to know what your politics are. I note WH comments – please note that in your country she is in a minority if recent polling is anything to go by so she is out of fashion.

  17. Hugo Priestley says:

    Edge, as Mr Wilbur-Wang so succinctly styles him, is clearly a dedicated follower of fashion, and his attendance at a speech given by David Cameron is more evidence of that. Wherever fashion goes, Edge is never far behind. But can he lead fashion?

  18. Lady Parvula de Panzoust says:

    My dear Adrian, who is the Wilbur-Wang? I am not fond of such talk at dinner parties or over canapes. Anyhow there are greater themes present in the report. My father taught me everything I ever needed to know about style from the tip of my highest heel to the gilt of my finest ear-rings and one thing he always said was “Shine on a suit is most unsuitable.” I could not agree more. I distrust sheen as much as I never trust a man in suede shoes. Can sheen ever look expensive? Doesn’t it look, and how to say this nicely, infra dig? If this carries on not only will I have to re-carve my father’s mausoleum when he is called back from the dead and the stone cracks in two, but I shall have to resort to the smelling salts. So dreary… Your sparkling wit ought not to be dazzled into hiding by shiny suits, surely?

  19. admin says:

    I don’t know who Wilbur-Wang is but he is rather cross

  20. admin says:

    No, I am not a leader of fashion. That means you have to create your own style and stick to it. I want fashion created by others. I don’t care what it is or how hideous. But it must be new, new, new. So I can buy,buy, buy and continue the fight against death.

  21. Anthony Mottram says:

    In my part of the world it is pointed shoes that give the game away.

  22. Peter de Vilbis says:

    In the words of my immortal cousin Karl Lagerfeld: “Only the minute and the future are interesting in fashion — it exists to be destroyed. If everybody did everything with respect, you’d go nowhere”

  23. David Cameron says:

    My office have informed me of your lively and intelligent debate. May I just say how delighted I am to be mentioned in your blog. I am also very pleased that you were able to attend my speech. I felt it went rather well. Were you the dapper gentlemen at the back?

    I like to think that we, the New Conservative Party, are inclusive in our policies. Something for everyone, is my aim, just as long as there’s not so much that someone might discenr a little policy and find something to disagree with. Gay, straight, black, white, socialist, liberal, homophobe, sondomites, fascists, young, old, dead, unborn. We are a broach church. What matters in the modern world is personality, not ideology. May I just say how delighted I am.

    On a lesser note, I like to think my suits are more successful than Peter’s or Tony’s. However, if you have strong views on my wardrobe, and if you’d like to do your bit for the Party then please, by all means, pass on your sartorial advice to my office. Gays are awfully good at that sort of thing, aren’t they. May I just say how delighted I am.

    David Cameron

  24. Barbara Cruz says:

    Who said ”its not what you wear, its how you wear it” that matters. I think we can all agree that is a strong contender the definition of style (but not necessarliy fashion). Which are you my dear Lady Lady Parvula de Panzoust? I do like buying the odd fashion garment myself – so I guess I am like Mr Edge?

  25. Anonymous says:

    Can’t he read? Didn’t Adrian Edge just give him some advice: waxed jeans, bum-freezer prep school blazer from Top Shop, scoop-neck T-shirt, big necklace and bracelets and pointy boots by Prada. Adrian Edge would be proud to strut into the polling booth and vote form him if he took this advice. It’s called fashion, stoopid.

  26. Nicholas Taudevin says:

    I don’t mind the rough insertion of politics into this very amusing diary, so long as Adrian Edge is aware that the political blogosphere is turbulent and excitable. His commentary is liable to noticed and linked by Guido Fawkes, Iain Dale and the rest of them… and who knows where that will lead?

    Just as, were the blog to stray in the direction of interior decoration, it would soon attract devotees of that fine US site for gay social commentary, Lurid Digs (“Horrifying Gay Amateur Interiors”).

    I mention this simply to change the subject. I daren’t provide a link to Lurid Digs, as it’s too filthy.

  27. Laura Malcolm says:

    Very worried about David Cameron’s spelling. Sondomites in a broach church.

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