Not My Usual Week But At Last Some Direction in Autumn Modes

Sunday 12th October 2014

I’ve left London after shopping. You won’t believe where I am – in an annex recently refurbished by IKEA. Outside the window, hard, sour, clapped-out UKIP voters are tee-ing off. The grounds are a golf course. The Gay Mother and I have done all we can to get in the way. But back to clothes: a crisis was looming, I knew it. That hot weather in September was bound to come to an end abruptly  and I’d have nothing to wear.

It was Tuesday morning that I abandoned everything and lunged at the shops. At Topman they’ve introduced Ultra Skinny suits. Jackets have gone in – they must hug the torso. But they’ve still bum-freezing, thank God. If they ever bringing back sacky, baggy jackets, I’ll give up fashion. As for high-waisted trousers…. But I don’t think they will. Do you remember trousers with pleats and the waist under the armpits? We actually wanted them in the 80s. But trousers have been slim and low-waisted for almost 25 years now. This season they should be spider-narrow at the ankle.

At Topman I bought a little doll’s suit in pearl grey. But really I had no direction for the season. I went to Prada. I texted Genevieve Suzy, who was mulling over cafe au lait for St James’ Palace. Oh yes! I may have left London. I may be in UKIP corner. But when I return I go with Genevieve straight to St James’ Palace to meet the Duke of York. I said to Genevieve, ‘What’s the direction for the season?’ At Prada they were fetching me trousers from the backroom. The young woman returned. ‘Heritage checks are a huge theme in the Collection,’ she announced. I felt as if struck on the road to Damascus. Heritage checks! What’s more I’d already seen them. Topman was wall-to-wall Heritage Checks. I’d seen them but they’d not been revealed. Now I knew the direction for the season. The Prada Heritage checks I would have bought even for a fortune but they didn’t fit.  Then the Prada lady gave me another excellent insider flash. ‘It’s been a nightmare season,’ she confided. ‘Our trousers were so narrow and now they’ve gone wide.’  How buoying up – wide trousers not wanted even when offered by Prada. Yes! Yes! Yes! My faith was affirmed.

I went on to Zara and bought a bright blue suit made of stiffened plastic sacking – just so as not to be completely dominated by Heritage Checks. At Harvey Nicks Heritage Checks have not yet been realised. But really the high-end designers, apart from Prada (but even they are conservative as to silhouette), are no longer the leaders of fashion. It’s all just as Ricky Rock and Lansdowne Reindorp were saying only last Sunday at the Multis’ country demesne. Astonishing how much Poor Little Rich Gay thought turns out to be world-shaping.

While the Prada Lady Was in the Backroom, I Laid Out my Topman Purchase on Her Counter

Prada Heritage Checks: This Season’s Direction

Posted Sunday, October 12, 2014 under Adrian Edge day by day.

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