Lord Arrowby has a Word

Tuesday 22nd September 2009

 I’m sorry, I’ve got behind, with so much going on. The Nicole Farhi Show will have to wait until tomorrow. And I’ve an armful of functions to cover. The Autumn Season is getting  underway – do you remember Entertaining Mr Sloane, when the crazy sister says to her brother who appears to be about to attend an all-male event: ‘Will there be ladies? Ladies is nice at a function’ ?

 I met Lord Arrowby at Borough Market (this is just food stalls in an unprepossessing part of  London, worshipped in an annoying way by some) last Saturday morning, as I said I would. Only now can I bring myself to write about it. I was seven minutes late, for a start. ‘You’re far too interested in money,’ he said, ‘I know you’re only aiming for a small readership, but all the same, you’ll put most people off.’  He referred to my poor blog. Oh dear! I did most meekly suggest: hadn’t I raised the spectre that money might be ruinous? Hadn’t I asked the question: what’s money for? Also, it’s just a fact, a significant proportion of gays have turned out to be rather good at making or earning money in luxurious quantities, including, if I may say so, Lord A, your good self.

 But no, Lord Arrowby is being ruined by a dentist at Wandsworth. His tooth still isn’t right. You might recall that it split on the Île de Ré (look: accents!). His is a life of service, no huge earnings. I’d got it all wrong.

 It has to be faced. Some people can’t bear money to be mentioned. The Gay Mother is one of them. Just can’t bear it. Nor spent unless absolutely necessary. This is not from anxiety that it might run out but because it is the right thing to do. 

 Let us hope that Lord Arrowby will be the steel anchor preventing us all from hurtling off into madness.

 On parting, I showed the pink waistband of my pants – those Calvin Klein ones worn by teenagers. Only the waistband is pink. Not deliberately, you understand. Everyone’s pants are showing these days, aren’t they? It just happened. Anyway, Lord A most benign and amused by spectacle of 52-year-old in such garb. Actually shrieked.

Posted Tuesday, September 22, 2009 under Adrian Edge day by day.

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9 comments

  1. George Arrowby says:

    Oh dear, was I that peremptory? I am sorry if I caused distress. On a point of detail, the dentist doing the ruination is in Sloane Street, not Wandsworth.

    The teenage pants were really terrific.

  2. barbara cruz says:

    is that not $$$ at boro market? i heard that you cannot get a chicken for less than $40 or a small box of chocolates for less than $100? is it worth going? why is it so visited?

  3. Dear Lord Arrowby, You are essential. I am glad to hear of the superior location of your dentist.

    Dear Miss Cruz, You are quite right. It is definitely $$$. BUT The Ginger Pig is an excellent butcher and a chicken might only cost $30. I have been disappointed with the vegetables recently (not fresh), I would never buy fish there (not fresh). Lord Arrowby himself buys typical English pies, of which he is very fond. Really Borough Market is over-rated but owing to huge queenery and also specialist heterosexual queenery of clientele has acquired reputation bearing no relation to reality

  4. Lady Parvula de Panzoust says:

    Oh Barbara, it is dire. Simply not a bite to eat and as for the groupies, impossible. Quite Impossible. I’d encourage much chicer parts, New Covent Garden can be quite charming if one is out for an early morning stroll, I hear. Such a treat to see lovely boys be-laden in fruit, so Caravaggio in Vauxhall…

  5. Tony Kane says:

    What’s with the dollars everywhere?

  6. Tony dear, it’s because hedge funds’ values are always quoted in dollars and that’s all we know, besides the pound is worthless. How awful, come to think of it, our notes will look with Charles’s ugly visage emblazoned…p.s. I like Borough Market!

  7. Laura Malcolm says:

    He may pooh-pooh it now but Adrian used to swear by Borough Market fish. I remember him once serving me a bit of salmon he said had cost £37. I could barely eat it, so anxious was I about the dent it had made in his Trust Fund.

  8. No, no, Laura Malcolm, that salmon was from elsewhere. But you are right that £37 would make a dent in my tiny supplementary Trust Fund shared with the aunts

  9. George Arrowby says:

    I am sure some of the gayer parts of town are better provided for, but in SE1 we only have a limited choice of retail outlets. So it tends to be oysters, Chelsea buns and game pie from the market, washing-up liquid from Costcutter.

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