Saturday 29th October 2022

My Nigella ‘Cook, Eat, Sleep, Repeat’ (or some such title) fell open one lunchtime at a recipe for frozen artichoke bottoms. That’s to say leaf artichoke. I was seized. Had to have it. None of the marts had them though, a drawback not mentioned by Nigella. She says her freezer is never without this item. In the end I had to go all the way to Panzer at St John’s Wood. A whole afternoon. The bottoms are baked with oyster mushrooms, chilli, garlic, lemon and thyme.  Thirty-five minutes of baking. Nigella’s slogan claims ‘crisp and creamy’ rather than ‘revolting’ which it was.  Tastes of nothing, despite all those additions, with the further advantage of being indigestible. There were acres of it left over which occasioned dread. As you know, after two world wars, a banking crisis, my mine going bust, a pandemic (or rather, as we now know, a pandemic response), a run on the pound and bombast in the gilt markets threatening everything, I never throw away food. But this time …. forcing it down might have finished me off. None of us can forget when Robert Nevil was kept in at Prep to finish his Curried Egg.

At least I’m spared the burden of forever going over to Panzer in St John’s Wood to get Frozen Artichoke Bottoms.