I Forgot to Say + Why Such Staining?

Monday 23rd August 2021

I forgot to say that Laura Malcolm and Matt Driver have let out their basement.  The agency said the new tenants were a father and son. I think there was a mix-up. The young man’s in handbags and is on Insta. The goings-on in Kelm’s former bedroom are remarkable, at the nude limits of Insta, including suggestive drapery, just skimming the forbidden parts, bolstered underpants, post shower with minimal towel, actually in shower. Thirty years ago would we ever have imagined that we’d be able to view the antics of a lodger in this way? In the first place the technological miracle, in the second the election to share in this manner. What a gift that raineth on our twilight years!

I’ve been plagued by stains. I do find they come in outbreaks. My door seal has gone bad, to put it bluntly. Stained black and can’t be cleaned. I wipe and wipe. Still black muck comes off. Never stops. Why oh why did they invent a washing machine with a rubber part that doesn’t get cleaned with every wash but actually deteriorates into filth and ends up marking the laundry? What a crazy way to invent a washing machine. It’s washing things all the time. That’s all it does. So every part ought to be getting cleaner and cleaner. I can’t believe the idiocy and wrong of it.

What’s more my heritage drying racks have started staining again – it’s where the wooden part has contact with the damp laundry. There was a phase of this some years ago then it stopped. To coincide with the door seal crisis, the heritage drying racks decided to start playing up.

Confession: one of the drying rack stains I left on an under-sheet. Just couldn’t face another trip to the bathroom and the Vanish bar. I was in danger of blisters from scrubbing. I thought: ‘It’s an under-sheet.’ I won’t see the stain.

This is the path to Hell. Once this sort of short-cutting starts, it won’t be long before I’ll be in the street with a stained outfit leading to removal by the authorities and confinement to a care facility.

This is what I tell the Gay Mother when she won’t tidy her piles of the Church Times. 

Posted Monday, August 23, 2021 under Adrian Edge day by day.

Leave a Reply