What do you Think of Madeira?

Saturday 21st November 2020

Madeira itself is exiled in the middle of the Atlantic. Miles from anywhere. You look out the window and there’s the sea, going on forever. Next stop, the Falkland Islands. Or Gran Canaria.

I’ve heard that Gran Canaria is jammed with Gays refusing the Second ‘Lockdown’. Typical. So selfish.

Charles 11, the last Hapsburg Emperor, was removed to Madeira in 1921. He tried once too often to get his Throne back. They thought he’d never escape from Madeira. He lasted for a few months, then died. On our way to view his tomb, Anthony Mottram remarked that Absolutist Monarchy is best. I so agree. What could be better than a really charming King or Queen with spouse devoted to charity? Their last Equerry or Lady-in-Waiting always gives out the slim memoir of the golden days. It is important to show that the Royalties were perfect to the last, never failing, always Royal. The only clouds were perhaps the theft of a diamond necklace or a small carriage accident. At worst a boudoir got burned down.

Royalty are better than Dictators. More provenance. Less prone to excess. Royalty would never have gold taps or too many shoes.

We went up to Monte in a cable car. That’s where the last Hapsburg Emperor is buried, high above Funchal, which is the capital of Madeira and the only place in fact. They all live in Funchal, with some exceptions such as those that don’t but they are few for the rest of Madeira is vertical.

The final slog up the steps to the burial church was killing. We emailed Val in Hastings to find out what happened to the Empress Zita, the widow of the last Hapsburg Emperor. This was on the principle that if you don’t know something – such as the difference between boiled and raw linseed oil – ask Val. He said she was devoted to Charity and her last Lady-in-Waiting issued a slim ecstatic memoir. I think he was drawing on the type, though. He wasn’t being particular.

There’s nothing wrong with Madeira. Reid’s Hotel is said to be the pinnacle of luxury  – but we haven’t been there. Tea is only served on Thursdays and Sundays. What could that mean? Surely it is acknowledged all over the world that tea occurs every day? There’s something not right. The Ducal Grandson told me that there are old wedding dresses in vitrines in the public corridors. What happened to the Brides though? Were they vampired or shut up?

We must go to Reid’s Hotel before we leave on Monday. We thought we’d be here for five years but it seems we’ve leaving on Monday and we’ve got so little done.

The Last Hapsburg Emperor's Last Resting Place: Sadly Simple

The Last Hapsburg Emperor’s Last Resting Place: Sadly Simple

The Last Emperor's Last Resting Place

The Last Emperor’s Last Resting Place: Would you Call this a Burial? A Coffin Just left There?

Very Sheer: Madeira

Very Sheer: Madeira

Beach: Porto Santo, off Madeira

Beach: Porto Santo, off Madeira. V. Little Rubbish

Three-Personed God: The Beach at Porto Santo

Three-Personed God: The Beach at Porto Santo

We Saw a Rabbit

We Saw a Rabbit





Posted Saturday, November 21, 2020 under Adrian Edge day by day.

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